I don't have kids, but I think I would tell them the truth. First, it's difficult to define "smart" as it's a conjunction of many skills. But even for one given skill, you may be the best in your class or your school, but there are likely millions that are much better than you. No need to worry too much where you lie and try to do the best with what you have.
> "Researchers have known for some time that the brain is like a muscle; that the more you use it, the more it grows. They’ve found that neural connections form and deepen most when we make mistakes doing difficult tasks rather than repeatedly having success with easy ones. What this means is that our intelligence is not fixed, and the best way that we can grow our intelligence is to embrace tasks where we might struggle and fail."
I wonder to which extent this is correct. Sure, it would be nice if it was the case. It's a nice myth that anybody can achieve anything with the proper amount of work. I see it all the time in fields such as maths or music. Some people are naturally so much better than others than even a lifetime wouldn't be enough to catch up.
I'm 33, started learning to play piano about two years ago. I don't always practice consistently, but I'm still improving over time. I can play a few short piece well enough to put a smile on my face. Importantly, I've noticed how learning to play piano has improved my understanding of music, improved my pattern recognition, and hand-eye coordination. While I might not have aspirations to ever become a really good piano player, taking on something I'm not naturally good at has been a boon for me.
So, yes - I agree it's a myth that anyone can achieve anything with enough work, but that shouldn't necessarily stop you from trying. Taking on a task you aren't naturally good at can be extremely satisfying and enable mind-brain expansion in ways I didn't realise possible.
My four year old daughter has had both a violin and a harp in her hands since she was three. My plan is to be able to hack at the keyboard well enough to play the occasional tune with her. That would be beautiful. It's been really interesting to observe how my motivations have changed since having a child.
It's not that "anybody can achieve anything", but that we can almost always get far better at almost anything if we put effort into it.
E.g. I do powerlifting to stay fit. I don't think I'll ever be a world class athlete, but through consistency through the last ten years, I'm lifting at an advanced level for my weight/age class on all my lifts.
Could everyone do that? Probably not. Thought most people can likely get to my level with enough effort.
More importantly, every untrained person can improve massively, because the average untrained person is so massively far from their potential.
I lift 10-15 times more today than I did when I started. Unless you've got severe health problems or disabilities, start at a very advanced age, or a very good starting point, most people will "easily" be able to increase their lifts by at least a factor of 5 in a few years with 30-40 minutes 2-3 times a week. In fact, most total beginners can double or even triple their working weight within a month or two.
The same applies for most mental disciplines as well: We may not all make it to expert level in every discipline, but we can almost always multiply our starting skill level enough times over with some effort that most people who have not put in any effort in the field will be impressed.
> "Researchers have known for some time that the brain is like a muscle; that the more you use it, the more it grows. They’ve found that neural connections form and deepen most when we make mistakes doing difficult tasks rather than repeatedly having success with easy ones. What this means is that our intelligence is not fixed, and the best way that we can grow our intelligence is to embrace tasks where we might struggle and fail."
I wonder to which extent this is correct. Sure, it would be nice if it was the case. It's a nice myth that anybody can achieve anything with the proper amount of work. I see it all the time in fields such as maths or music. Some people are naturally so much better than others than even a lifetime wouldn't be enough to catch up.